Monday, June 30, 2014

All is good :)

Such a HUGE relief. I went in today just to see what was going on since I've had the lovely spotting going on. It was so nice to hear the words "we've got a baby with a heartbeat". I refused to look at the screen until the doctor said that. I didn't want to watch and assume that something didn't look right. 

Everything looks good and heartrate is strong. The baby even rolled over and wiggled the little butt at us, rolled back toward us and waved and then back to profile angle for some kicking and punching. Something tells me this baby is going to beat up my insides as he/she gets bigger. 

Apparently on one side of the placenta, a small part of the edge hadn't attached all the way, causing the bleed. They weren't worried at all by this. They said everything looks perfect. Just to be 100% sure that is what is going on, I'm going back next week to meet with the ultrasound tech and his fancy super detailed machine to verify. 

I guess this is what I get for being disappointed when they told me at my 9 week appt how my next appointment (supposed to be next week) would be Doppler only and no ultrasound. So instead I got the one today AND I'll get one next week. 

So glad that everything is okay. It is so hard not to stress sometimes. Thank you for the prayers and words of encouragement. It truly does help. :)

And here's the little one!! 

Sunday, June 29, 2014

12 weeks and more spotting

As of today I am 12 weeks. At 2:30 this morning I got up for my usual middle of the night bathroom break, when I noticed red spotting. Definitely a lot more than I had just over a week ago. Last time it was only pink but this time it was full on red. 

Why does this sort of thing always happen on weekends when you can't just go in to your doctor's office?! I plan on calling my dr first thing Monday morning, but for now I am putting myself on bed rest and waiting to see what happens. In the past 6+ hours there hasn't been any additional red blood, but some pink and brown. 

I really really hope that this isn't a sign of anything bad. I think I overdid it yesterday by running errands and then coming home to clean. 

I immediately panicked and it was hard to get back to sleep but I just focused on trying to wait to see if things progressed or not. Hopefully a day of resting is all that I need. 

Prayers please that everything is still okay. I am SO close to starting the 2nd trimester, please let everything be okay. 

Sunday, June 22, 2014

11 weeks and spotting

As of today I am 11 weeks. This is definitely the furthest I've ever been in a pregnancy and I was feeling pretty comfortable with everything, until last night. Last night I had some spotting. I know, I know, "spotting can be normal". When you've had 4 miscarriages already, anything new or similar at all to miscarriage, scares the living day lights out of you. 

I was over at my parents house hanging out with some friends, my mom, and my sister in law. Thankfully, they are all amazing and were very reassuring. I did call the on call provider with my dr office. Basically they said that it's very encouraging that I've only had a little bit of spotting, that I've seen the heartbeat, and that I hadn't had any "period like" cramping. 

For now I'm supposed to try to rest a lot and try to not stress out. Easier said than done obviously but I know that nothing I do will change what is or isn't happening. Unfortunately in the first trimester, if you begin to miscarry, there is nothing that can be done to stop it. 

The spotting was 12 hours ago now and I haven't had any spotting since :) which makes me feel better but I am still worried, naturally. I plan to call my doctor office as soon as they open tomorrow morning and see if they'll let me come in to check on the baby. 

Spotting is sadly pretty common during pregnancy. As if we all don't already have enough to watch out for and worry about. For now, I will take each day as it comes and pray that everything is okay. 

I do not want to see this little baby until he or she is due... Please let this baby stay safe, healthy and growing until it is time... And I'm talking like December at the EARLIEST. :)

Monday, June 9, 2014

9 weeks 1 day

Had my first "official" OB appointment. It has only been one week since my last appointment where we got to see our little baby and the strong heartbeat. I was a little nervous but all went well. 

As soon as the doctor started the ultrasound the baby did this full body wiggle thing. It was so cool to see. Heart beat still going strong. It was so surreal to be there and see that. This is our baby. Our baby is still there, still growing, still living. What an incredible blessing. 

I don't go back in for another month. And that appointment will be a Doppler appointment only to listen to the heartbeat, no ultrasound. Which I am sad about BUT I have to look at it as, if they felt I was high risk this time, I'd be in a lot more often. The fact that this pregnancy is considered "normal" is a very very good thing. 

Here are baby's pictures from today. Stubborn little thing refused to turn to the side so that we could get a good profile picture but I'll take it! :)

Monday, June 2, 2014

It's officially official!!!!

The anxiety hit me this morning around 3am. I couldn't sleep. I was so terrified but also so excited. I just kept reminding myself that this is a different pregnancy, different circumstances, different outcome. 

They got me in right away and I just couldn't look until I heard "we have a heartbeat!"  That's the first time I've ever heard that. There is one baby in there with a strong heartbeat. Also measuring exactly to the day with where I should be at, 8 weeks 1 day. So excited and relieved. Obviously not out of the woods yet but this is such a huge relief. 

First pic is front view, head down. Second pic is side view, head down. 

So excited to have this amazing news. Thank you to all of you praying and supporting me through this. I so appreciate it all! :)

Sunday, June 1, 2014


Lately, I've spent a lot of time thinking about how good the Lord is.

I still remember the night when my husband came home from work and told me how sore his back was because he'd had to shovel out 3ft+ of snow and push out 15 or so cars and giant vans that were stuck in the snow. It was a rough day. In the following time, the pain grew worse and began to go down his right leg and into his foot. Not until he had this weird feeling in his foot like it was always asleep (a month after the day he hurt his back) did he finally make an appointment with a chiropractor. A chiropractor who referred him to the right neurosurgeon, who in turn referred him to the right radiologist and oncologist. They all got together and decided the best place to go was Seattle Cancer Care Alliance through the University of Washington.

We have been totally blessed by the right people, the right doctors, all at the right time. We have been blown away but the prayers and love and support that people have surrounded us with. Sometimes, even people that we don't know and have never met.

We talk all of the time about how this is clearly God laying out this path for us. He has guided us and supplied us with everything that we need, and I believe that He will continue to do so. Those bills haven't started to hit our mailbox just yet, but they are coming. Whatever they add up to, we will figure it out. God will provide.

I did start to panic the other night when I started to realize that come January 2015, if all goes well with this pregnancy, we will be paying his medical bills, my medical bills, all while I take 12 weeks of unpaid leave from my job. Thankfully, after a quick freak out, I prayed. I prayed for peace. I know that the Lord has provided for us this far, and that will not stop now. We will figure it all out as it comes. Stress is not good for anyone, but it certainly isn't good for me while pregnant... 8 weeks as of today! :)

Tomorrow is a big day here in our household. Tomorrow morning at 9am, I have my first ultrasound with this pregnancy. We will find out how many babies there are and how they are developing so far. I know that this pregnancy was gifted to us by God at this time for a reason. I can only hope and pray that tomorrow morning, the doctor gives us some incredibly amazing news. The only other pregnancy that made it to ultrasound day, all came crashing down when there was no heartbeat. Here is to hoping that tomorrow's ultrasound appointment is a VERY different type of appointment.

Also tomorrow, the husband has his first round of radiation. His first of 25 sessions... The next step toward a healthy husband.

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers tomorrow... it is definitely a big day for us. :)