Wednesday, December 25, 2013

"So when will you be having kids?"

Hm... well. Funny thing about that question. The person asking it has no clue the can of worms they just opened up. How do I answer that? Do I lie or sugar coat it for them? "Oh, you know, eventually." Or do I unleash the truth upon them? "Actually now would be great. I've already been pregnant 4 times this year but so far, no baby to bring home. It'd be nice to make it past the pregnant stage into the bring home the baby stage."

Have you ever had someone ask a seemingly innocent question, and the answer that you gave left them looking like you just ran over their puppy and then kicked them in the stomach? I mean, they did ask BUT they truly didn't know what they were asking. The question is a bit more invasive than just a simple "How are you doing?" but this is the reality that I live in. I am at the point in my life where people expect me to start having children, especially anyone who knows me as they all know how much I love children and have always wanted my own.

So when will I be having children?... good question! I'd love to know the answer to that one myself.

I don't fault anyone who brings the topic up around me because I'm more than happy to talk about it all, but sometimes I wonder if being THAT honest is a bad thing. I mean, do people really want to know the truth when they ask something like that? If you were having an awful day, and someone walks up "How's it going?!", do you ever really say "Well actually... it sucks." and then proceed to give them the full account of why things aren't going so well?...

I am someone who has a tendency to talk my feelings out. It makes me feel better. It helps me to work through things (hence the blog!). But I already know my story. It won't hit me like a sucker punch to the gut when I explain what this last year has been like for my family. Chances are though, they have nooooo idea what they just started.  So how do I respond? Do I give the whole truth? Or do I spare the awkward stare and the look of sadness that washes over them as they thought they were bringing up a happy topic, babies! but instead had Debbie Downer ruin the moment with a harsh reality. Do I give the politically correct answer, "Oh... well whenever it happens I guess" or "Eventually"... ? I haven't a clue. I can't actually remember the last time I spared the poor soul who unknowingly just started a very long conversation with me regarding having children, but maybe that's the better route to take... I'm not sure.

You should probably pity the nice people who try to start innocent conversations with me about babies...

Eagle River, AK December 2013

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