Today has been a bit of a rough day for me... I'm not quite sure why exactly.
For starters, I tested this morning... negative. So of course that's disappointing. Less than 2 minutes later my phone buzzes. It was a text from Target about some sale on baby stuff. Figures.
I check my emails... some of the sample sale websites that I get daily emails from... some of their feature sales were on maternity clothes. Awesome.
I decided to be a bit of a bum for a few hours but finally decided it was time to get up and get ready for the day like a normal human. As I'm getting ready, it starts snowing :( Granted, it IS November and we have been incredibly lucky not to have snow stick yet this year but it still gave me a bit of a "NO NO NO NO NO... NO" tantrum moment.
Finally, I left the house headed for town to look at baby shower invites. On my way, traffic sucks. It is as if all Alaskans forgot how to drive in the snow. To make it worse, the roads were getting icy. I watched a few people slide off the roads (hint #1 that I should've stayed home). It took over 30 min to make a 10 min drive. Just as I hit downtown, I get a text, another friend is pregnant.
Don't get me wrong, I am really excited for them. I know they must be so incredibly happy, as they should be. But after a morning of "hey, remember how you aren't pregnant?" moments... it kind of stung. I don't know why it stung. I knew they were trying and I have fully expected to hear this news from them anytime now, but still... then I was just annoyed that my first reaction wasn't "yay! that's awesome" instead of the gut punch it felt like.
I decided, maybe I just need to head home and have my pity party there... though I'd accomplished absolutely nothing, I turned around and headed back. On my way home I decided that since I'd run out of tests, I should probably just pick some more up (just in case since I haven't started yet either). OF COURSE they put the pregnancy tests in the same section as the condoms and other related items. So while I'm attempting to find the stupid tests with the happy faces vs empty circle (I guess that's because a sad face would piss people off more?)... You get the usual weirdo guy staring you down from a few feet away because if you are standing there... you MUST be looking at condoms and if you are looking at condoms, you probably don't already have someone to have sex with and truly are hoping that some creeper will notice what you are standing in front of and offer to give them a test drive with you. Creeeeeperrrrr. Sadly, this is not the first time that this has happened while I was buying pregnancy tests haha. I find that incredibly weird.
I've broken down in tears a few times today. And I hate crying.... A LOT. Hopefully in the next few days I will know whether or not all of this crying is PMS or pregnancy hormones. PLEASE be pregnancy hormones...